Friday, January 27, 2012


So I've been in a little bit of a funk lately and I'm not quite sure I can explain why but I'm sure going to try. I'm not happy, I'm not sad, I've just been kind of blah. 

You see, all growing up I've had what people would call the "perfect" life. Besides having to move across the country twice, and my parents divorcing when I was two, nothing big has ever happened to me. I'm extremely grateful for this amazing life and if given the option I would probably choose to live this life over and over again. It's great, but there's one little problem...

I've never really had to overcome any obstacles.

Is that a good thing? I personally don't think it is. Your trials and tribulations are what shape your life and if you've never had this troubles, how are you supposed to learn from your mistakes or become stronger.

Don't get me wrong, I seriously am so grateful for my friends, family, and the life I've lead. But why me? Why do others have to face such serious issues and overcome great obstacles in their life, often more than one at a time while I sit here with nothing to worry about except what to study for my quiz the next day. 

The most traumatic thing in my life recently? I lost control of my car on black ice, leading me to roll and total my car. What happened to me? I got one single, quarter sized yellow bruise on my chest from the seatbelt that went away after a week and a knot/bruised bone in my foot. I thank God everyday that I'm alive and I was so lucky that day to be wearing my seatbelt and be able to walk away from something that could have easily killed me. But seriously? Why was I the one chosen to survive with no injuries while children and adults all around the world in the same exact circumstances die every day?

What about me is so special?

I don't know. 

One day maybe I'll find out why God has been so generous to me, but I will never understand why God puts other great people in such horrible situations. 

And that's why I'm blah. Call me crazy, but I'm just really confused by this.